Chapter 2

     Before Michelson, I had several interviews with what recent college graduates like to call big kid jobs.  Those who have been in what the recent grads also call the “real world” for more than two years call these jobs hell, shit holes, dungeons, and the worst mistake they ever made.  While I never went past the first interview I always found the place and arrived at least fifteen minutes early.  One time, I showed up two hours early to an interview for a job in New York City.  It was my first time in the big apple and my bus had actually arrived on time.  I was afraid I would get lost in Central Park if I had tried to get a coffee so I spent two hours outside of the building, waiting for the place to open.  Being prompt obviously wasn’t going to be an issue.  To them, I was just plain weird. 

Nevertheless, I had gone above and beyond to make it to these places on time.  Yet, I was always stuck waiting in a lobby for thirty plus minutes while the assistant manager of human resources talked with the front office manager about the chief financial officer’s extramarital affair with the new account representative.  So, by the time my interview with Michelson arrived, I had only viewed the place on a map, skipped the street to street directions, and left when I felt like leaving.   

     After passing Michelson six times without knowing it was actually Michelson, the small building, hidden atop a hill, appeared.  With five minutes left to make it to the lobby, I put the petal to the metal and screeched my tires up to the top.  At 10:00am, I arrived.  And Judy, all smiles, was there waiting for me.  Sweaty and out of breath, I thought that if this is what I had to do to not have to wait for an interview, it was worth it. 

            I followed Judy to a small room.  When she opened the door, I was greeted by two males dressed in suits.  “Am I in trouble already?”  I asked. 

     “Ha!  That’s funny.  She’s funny Craig!” said one of the men.

     They both shook my hand.

     “I’m Mr. Michelson, the president and CEO, and this is Craig Albert, our internet researcher manager. And you’ve already met Judy, our human resources manager.” He said.

     “Yes, nice to meet all of you.” I replied.

     Mr. Michelson fumbled, “So, I see here, Jay—da—al-a…”

     “Jaydielle, Jaydee for short.” I said.

     “Oh, well that’s an interesting name for sure!  Were your parents hippies?” asked Mr. Michelson.

     “No, teenage pregnancy.” I responded.

     “Ha! Again, you’re hired!” he replied.

     It was apparent Mr. Michelson liked me.  Did I accidentally send the wrong cover letter?  Judy and Craig were not laughing.

     “Alright, Jaydee, let’s get started. Are you familiar with what we do here at Michelson?” Craig asked.

     “Well, from what I understand, you provide marketing research on different companies for your clients so that they are aware of the market they are competing in, like the prices of products and whatnot.”

     “Someone did their homework!” Mr. Michelson shouted.

     I couldn’t help but laugh.  Craig just nodded and wrote down what I assume was my response.  Judy sat there, starring down, obviously uncomfortable.

     “Ok, so why would you like to be an internet researcher with Michelson?” Craig asked.    

     “Well, to be honest, it seemed like the only job I was qualified for, given my extensive research background in college, and it also seemed like the only career option here in Cleveland.  I can’t afford to relocate just yet, so I just, I just freaking want a job job.” I replied.

     “I understand.” Craig responded. “That’s the reason I originally joined Michelson.” He said.

     “Joined Michelson? What are we a cult, Craig?” Mr. Michelson joked. “Ha! I’m just playing guys.”

     “Right, so anyway, Michelson is a great place to begin a career.  There are opportunities for advancement throughout our office here and some of our other offices in New Jersey and Indiana.” Craig said.

     “And Craig forgot to mention that you could potentially meet your wife here!” Mr. Michelson responded.  “Well, husband for you, right?”  He asked.  I nodded.

     “Right. Mr. Michelson is right.  I did meet my future wife here.”  He replied with a smile.

     As odd as we all felt, it was one of the most comfortable interviews I ever had.  Craig went on to pose two more questions, with the final one asking if I could come in for a second interview. 

     “Sure.” I replied.

     “Alright, this Thursday, I’ll meet you up at the front and give you a tour of our facility.” Craig said.

     “And you’ll also have to fill out more paperwork.” Judy said.  It was the only time I had heard her say more than two words that day.

     The next interview with Michelson would be my first second interview with any company so I was sort of confused on things like the dress code or more importantly, if I would be meeting any of my possible coworkers.  Business casual or not, I had to look good.  It had been three years since I last had sex, at least with another being not operated by batteries.

     Yes, my official bed statistics had been pretty pathetic, especially considering I just spent the last three years in college.  College is probably the only time you could get away with sleeping around and not be called a slut.  Actually, I believe it’s mandatory, at least for some of the major sororities on campus.  But I just wasn’t one to randomly put-out.  I mean, there was an occasional make out at the bar and, oh, ok, that one time I did reach third base with a random guy on spring break but we didn’t go all the way because the whiskey held him there at third.  The fact of the matter was that I was all fucked up after my high school sweetheart had dumped me for the girl who hooked us up together.

     Mike Tomlin was my first.  And while we had been good Catholic kids in high school, it was the summer leading to college we decided to take the plunge and try sex.  I wish we hadn’t because I had become addicted.  While he wasn’t even that good, he was safe.  I think that was the reason the break up hit me so hard.  He was my sex toy.  I was too afraid to try someone new because I didn’t meet anyone with whom I could imagine having their baby.  I would ask myself, “If the condom breaks, could I deal with having this guy’s kid?”  Nine times out of ten, the answer was no.  For the other ten percent, the guy was taken and I was never in the mood to play the other woman. 

So, getting a job with Michelson was not the only thing riding on the line for me.  I was ready to find my baby daddy.  After the first interview, I spent the rest of the day shopping.  I was so confident I would land the job with Michelson that I used the rest of my retirement money to finance a new wardrobe.  From the pair of four inch stilettos to the three pencil skirts on sale for fifteen dollars each, I was determined to get the job and get laid. 

I arrived the next day at Michelson looking like the twenty three year-old I was, rather than the seventeen year-old for which I’m often mistaken.  The tour was going well until Craig took me to the main room where all the researchers were housed.  Everyone was dressed in jeans, sandals, and t-shirts.  And there I was, looking like one of those cutthroat business bitches.  The only thing missing was my briefcase.

     “As you can see, we don’t really have a dress code here.  We just ask you don’t wear anything political or offensive.”  Craig said.  “What you’re wearing is great.  I wish more of our employees would take their job seriously and dress up everyday, but Mr. Michelson is very casual, if you couldn’t tell.”  He added.  I hoped Craig understood that if I were to work there, I would not be dressing up, ever again.

     Luckily, he didn’t include meeting any of the researchers on the tour.  While I would have loved to have scoped out any of my potential coworkers and/or lays, I was glad to be kept at bay this time.  What I wasn’t happy about was the fact that I would have to return my entire wardrobe by the end of the night. 

     “So, that concludes our tour.  I would like to offer you a position here at Michelson, starting tomorrow.  If you would like to accept, I’ll take you over to Judy’s office to fill out important paperwork.”  Craig said.

     “Um, ok. Yes, I accept.” I instinctively replied.  I felt a bit on the spot, but I was curious to see the faces behind those fifty some cubes.  “Thank you.”  I added.  If it ended up being the worst job in the world, I could always quit, right?